Reasons why I dumped men

 

dont disturbI dumped many men because I got bored of them. Not nice but why is this my fault? The deal is (unwritten deal) I take care of you, I keep you safe and you keep me wild. Is that so hard to achieve?

I dumped men for bragging or for being idiots or for being cheap (not with me, but with themselves, which is beyond my power of understanding).

Of course, I dumped men for not being good in bed, but, can you blame me? I do believe in good sex, I really do.

I dumped men for being cowards and I dumped men because I was more of a man than they were.

I dumped men for being liars, for being too soft or too harsh.

I dumped a man for being under a secret service surveillance (I don’t need that kind of attention), I dumped men for being too smothering, for being too much of a mama’s boy, for being too jealous, for being too demanding, for wanting me in the kitchen more than wanting me in the bedroom (if you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the fucking kitchen, boy!).

I dumped men for not being confident, for yelling too much, for being more complicated than I am (that is an achievement, believe me, not even Einstein could figure me out!).

I once dumped a man for not washing his hands after peeing. I don’t remember how I began suspecting it but once I had the first hints I started sneaking to the bathroom door to listen to the sounds. I was going mental, I needed to know. The night I got my confirmation he cooked dinner after coming out of the bathroom. I said I was not hungry and I ordered a pizza later on. I waited for the pizza guy at the door, to make sure he won’t touch it before I get a slice or two, I was totally starving.

On the other hand, he would find gross my habit of  going my fingers through my hair, especially while eating. And he was always, always scolding me about it. As for me, I never told him the reason why I left him. I thought it was too embarrassing for him and anyway, if a man didn’t learn to wash his hands after peeing by the age of 30 something, is not my job to teach him.

And of course, I dumped men over spelling and I will always will. If you can’t spell in your mother tongue and I figure it out, you are dead to me. I don’t mind spelling mistakes in your second language, though. I don’t care that much for punctuation either. But spelling, wow, sometimes I feel like killing people over spelling, honestly.

Other than that,  I really love men, I really really do!

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24 thoughts on “Reasons why I dumped men

  1. Rohan 7 Things says:

    Lol, nice post, though I think you should hide this from prospective partners haha!

    Thanks for sharing 🙂

    All the best!

    Rohan.

    Like

    1. Lavinia says:

      Oh, you’d think? I was actually thinking to print it out and put it on my fridge so that they can see exactly what they need to do. You know, something like: wash your hands after you pee, keep me wild, be good in bed, don’t be too soft, don’t be too harsh, learn how to spell, don’t call your mother 10 times a day, have more balls than I have, etc etc. Is that too much to ask? :)))))

      Like

      1. Rohan 7 Things says:

        I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having standards and setting boundaries, I encourage that 🙂 Sometimes I’d like to make a list like that as well lol. But I prefer to get to know people a little slower, sometimes we can overlook small issues if they are quite cool in other ways.

        For example the spelling thing, many brilliant people have been unable to spell. I’ll bet if you found a very compatible person you could over look their spelling lol. Here’s a few people who couldn’t spell, many of them are my personal literary heroes: http://nanopatentsandinnovations.blogspot.ie/2012/01/15-famous-thinkers-who-couldnt-spell.html

        Some of the stuff is just bad manners, selfishness and stupidity lol, and you certainly have a right to be picky haha, I know I am! At the same time it’s fun to keep an open mind, that’s all 🙂

        Rohan.

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      2. Lavinia says:

        Hmmm, you kind of have a point with the spelling. Also Garcia Marquez can’t spell right. Ok, maybe I can be more forgiving with the English natives. But Romanian is phonetic, shouldn’t be such a big deal to spell. Anyway, just like you said, I am always open to discover amazing things about people and when I do, I can get over some of the turn offs mentioned in the article. Especially because I know I am so far from being perfect:))))

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  2. Teeny Bikini says:

    I know you live in Romania, but I think we might be sisters or something. It’s weird – how you say exactly what I think. Girl, get out my head. It’s scary in there… 😉 I love this: “(if you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the fucking kitchen, boy!).” LOL. Indeed. This whole list was dead on target, but the spelling thing is so annoying. I mean I just don’t get it… Loved this.

    Like

    1. Doggy's Style says:

      “if you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the fucking kitchen, boy!” Hell yeah! I’m the one who cooks at home and no way I’m bringing breakfast to you in bed, unless you are crippled it won’t happen.
      Men are complicated, take it from a gay being.

      Like

      1. Lavinia says:

        Yes, Doggy, they are complicated! Thank you for confirming that. I can live with them being complicated but when they are more complicated than I am, that is when I give up:)))

        Like

  3. rebecca2000 says:

    The hand washing thing… eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww gross. You can dump lots of men because you’re smokin’ hot. You get to be choosy. I don’t dump because I have been married for a billion years. I met him at 19.

    Like

    1. Lavinia says:

      When I was 19 I had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old:))) Now I can say I am finally approaching 19, emotionally speaking 🙂 And yeah, hand washing thing is damn gross.

      Like

  4. 1EarthUnited says:

    Very amusing list, have you watched Seinfeld sitcom? After a while you need to get creative to dump a person. In my opinion, a really passionate F**k overcomes alot, but at least you’re having fun with your life. 😉

    Like

    1. Lavinia says:

      Seinfeld is my favorite show of all times. I am still watching it every now and then and even though I know all the lines by heart, I am still laughing. I like my life to be fun because I am only here once. I admit I dump men for stupid reasons sometimes but I don’t feel bad because it means I haven’t found the one yet. And I am the kind of person that settles just for the sake of settling.

      Like

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