Back to dating: stupid things men say, what they actually mean and how to handle it

Now that I am back into the dating world, I am preparing myself psychologically for all the crap men say at the first dates. I promise not to start laughing or change the subject or order another beer, just to make them stop. I promise I will listen and nod politely and say thank you very much and not check if their nose got bigger or if their pants are on fire, so help me god.

Few examples of crap men say and what that crap actually means:

1. If he looks deep into your eyes and tells you that your eyes are amazing, it usually means your boobs are too small.

2. If he looks at your boobs and tells you how great your eyes are, you are already naked in his imagination and any attempt to have a normal conversation will fail.

3. If he tells you how nice your dress is after you come back from the ladies room, it means he would like a piece of that ass. Just like at number 2, you might be already naked in his mind but if you sit down and your boobs are not big, you might have a chance to proper conversation. Which brings us back to number 1.

4. If he says you are very smart, he might think you are not very pretty.

5. If he says you are very beautiful, he might think you are  not that smart.

6. If he says you are soooo funny, you are not girlfriend material. But if you have big boobs or a nice ass, what a hell, you are still worth a try.

7. If he is interested in your past relationships, it usually means he wants to know what a hell is wrong with you that nobody wanted you. If you left your exes, again, it is something wrong with you. It is always you, not them.

8. If he says he loves you before sleeping with you, it means you already refused him at least once, so he is bringing the big guns into the game.

The list is incomplete, only facts that were on top of my mind were included. I will update it accordingly as new discoveries in the field will be made. Please feel free to contribute.

Pieces of advice:

If you sleep with the guy only to make him cut the crap, please tell him so, otherwise he will think he got into your pants thanks to his charming abilities and he will bore more girls with them.

If once you moved from dating to sleeping together he stops holding doors for you or holding your coat it means he is not a full time gentleman. Don’t let him get away with it. He should learn that it is highly appreciated of him to cut the crap, but cutting down the manners is such a turn off.

Good luck!


9 thoughts on “Back to dating: stupid things men say, what they actually mean and how to handle it

  1. 1EarthUnited says:

    Lol, you are soooo funny… because you are genuinely funny. Reading your blog always put a smile on my face 😉
    * When dating seriously, “just be yourself” holds true. If you want to have silly fun, be whomever you feel like.
    Good manners from both gender are always appreciated, it’s nice to care.
    If a guy is constantly staring at your boobs, push his face in them and walk away! 😀


  2. Silving says:

    Now,really… from what i remember from my ancient first dates :D- don’t we,women,also look at the guy’s ass,eyes,etc.? I remember trying to imagine how they were in bed just by looking at them.And looking.And looking.All over :))


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