Lost in translation

I have this sad feeling that at the moment I have no language that I can call my own. I am losing my Romanian and my English is far from perfect especially when I am tired or grumpy or dizzy or whatever. Because yes, there are days when I simply can’t express myself in a neat English without any reason whatsoever.

As for Romanian, the matter is even more upsetting because it is my mother tongue. I don’t have many Romanian friends in London, I only get to talk Romanian with my sister. And you know what? I can hardly make a sentence in Romanian, without sneaking some English words in it.

They say that when you have two languages, you have two souls. I like to think of this as a metaphor for the ability of making room for as many cultures as we encounter next to our own. It is a special feeling indeed and despite the sadness I feel when I cannot make a proper sentence in Romanian, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

To make matters even more complicated, my boyfriend is French. We communicate in English and sometimes, when it gets intense, I find myself exhausted with speaking in English. A row is not a proper row if not in your mother tongue.

What about you? How does having a second language make you feel?

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13 thoughts on “Lost in translation

  1. easyweimaraner says:

    same here… I have a mix of 3 languages and I sometimes create the wildest mix of german-english-french… but on the other hand, it has something to use curse words of 3 languages in one sentence :o)

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  2. ghetran says:

    Haha! Don´t worry, I know how it feels! I´ve learned to accept that my Norwegian is full of flaws, especially when I´m tired or angry. My Romanian is better since I started interpreting, but I build strange sentences and I sometimes translate directly from English or Norwegian. And when we argue, it´s as much English as Norwegian and should he fail to grasp the meaning, he´s welcome to use a dictionary! 😉 haha!

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    1. Lavinia says:

      Glad about your happy mixture. It drives me mad when I can’t find my words in one language and use the other. I must work more on accepting the situation I guess

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  3. Kristina says:

    Myself, I am from Romania, born and raised but of Slovak nationality. That means two lets say mother languages from the start…and as I speak several languages more…it gets difficult sometimes…many people are envious on my “talent” to pick up any language, but I say, you wouldn´t want to be in my head ….not even for a minute…

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  4. Nadia Gerassimenko says:

    I feel the same way. I speak three languages, Russian being my mother tongue. And then English and French. It’s tough sometimes to speak in Russian, I tend to mix in English words here and there when I can’t seem to remember the exact word in Russian. Speaking Russian can be straining. My English is pretty good (for some reason me and my husband communicate mostly in English…it’s easier that way). And though I have studied French all my life and went to French school for more than half of my student years, it’s tough to speak it nowadays now that I live in the US. Anyways, you are not the only one in this boat!

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